Wednesday, April 12, 2006

In Re: Car Alarms

So I was kept up somewhat late last night by a car alarm. What's more ironic is that I had just heard about this car alarm song from the comedian, Dane Cook. Here's a little sample:

Hellooooooooooo
I'm a caaaaaaaaar
(that's the doooooooOOOOOOO, dooooooooOOOOO)

Gas-o-line-makes me run
(the ehn-ehn-ehn-ehn)

back-seat
trunk space
(Deeeeeeeeoooooooo, deeeeeeeeooooooo)

repeat:
helloooooooo
let's go for a riiiiiiiide

oil is my blood

seatbelts
radio knobs


(emphasis added to try and get the point across)


But seriously, can we not get a better alarm for cars? I mean, it barely phases most people to hear car alarms in the middle of the night. They're there for the sole purpose of alarming people, and that have totally failed. Completely and totally failed, because they've become interwoven into the other sounds of the night: squealing almost accidents, owls, sirens, gang fights, washing machines, honeybees, mosquito's, rap music, etc.

My suggestion: replace all car alarms with a recording of Marlon Brando screaming, "Stella!!!!!!!! Stellllllllaaaa!!!!" Possibly we could have them saying instead, "I'm a car!!!!! I'm being stolen!!!!! Someone stop this!!!!" Or better yet, we have an option where different celebrities sign up to do the voices. I mean, MTV would almostly definitely have a contest wherein someone would get Kanye's voice for their car alarm. This could be the most amazing idea I've ever had. People could do their own too- imagine you customizing one as a prank, so that whenever it went off, it started playing Abba's "Dancing Queen." That would be hilarious.

Who knows. I do. It's not gonna happen, because my greatest ideas never get put into motion, so this will never happen ever. And if it does, I'm going to expect some money. Which will probably not happen.

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