Saturday, December 31, 2005

Things That are Always Funny Pt. Duex

*note: there was a better version of this, but I lost it whilst spellchecking, so it's really just OK funny and not pee your pants funny*

This is the second part in a three part series, but this second part actually contains both the second and third parts.

Midgets. Dangit man, they make some movies. I'm not meaning to bag on them, I honestly love midgets: they're awesome, and I wouldn't mind being one just because it would give me an excuse to be bitter. But seriously, midgets are like comedy magnifiers. They take okay humor and make it hilarious. Imagine, if you will, a person trying to reach the top of the refrigerator, and just barely making it. Now, imagine that same person is a midget. The humor is multiplied!

The best movie example for this is Austin Powers. That series was horrible, and had you removed Mini-me, it would have been basically the worst comedy of all time, without question. Midgets simply make the comedy more than it can be on it's own. Comedic steroids, anyone?

and Pt. 3 is food related, because food humor almost everyone can relate to. Vegetables, man, they make the funniest foods. Carrots, zucchini, tomoatoes (to those of you who say tomatoes are a fruit, I say that, no: you are the fruit) all make for great hilarity, but not along. They simply replace an object in a scenario, or they can work as punch lines, thusly:

"No man, I said carrot, not parrot!"

Well, more other stuff later... but thus ends the things that are always funny series

"You mean the tomato goes in the blender?"

"I never said I would love you, I just loved your fried okra."
and the classic,

"That's no xucchini, that's my wife!"

1 comment:

elasticwaistbandlady said...

Actually midgets are very passe' and their comedic reign of terror ended in the 1970's after the release of the amusing but very controversial song by Randy Newman, 'Short People'. I thought they might enjoy a resurgence with the hilarity involving a dwarf in the movie, 'Elf', but alas I don't think it's meant to be.

However, society has deteriorated to the point that really if you throw in some bodily function humor you have instant success. Look at the Farrelly Brothers empire, built on one fart joke at a time. Modern day laughs revolve around gas. Now, maybe if you have FARTING midgets, hmmm............