beatnik poem

Oh, Muses! Forgive me
I have found one for whom
You can provide no words
Yet I need thy guidance
For my tongue is weak
Though no words suffice
My love can, put it into words
The eyes are the body's cavas
upon which every emotion
is written and seen
one stroke at a time
the golden gates are open wide
come find out
no need to run
opportunity is in love
and love is in life
muses, forsake my mind not
Love for a new future
Dreams ended the hopeful past

Something is Changing

Okay, so... I'm unsure how to put this, but there have been some HUGE changes I've made in the past couple days- dealing with almost everything in my life. And they're definitely changes for the better. I've become more involved in things I care about, partially thanks to Lexi (who, by the way, is actually cooler in real life than she is online, as hard as that is to believe), and partially thanks to me being more aware of what I really care about. I'm afraid though, I've started routines, I've lost a bit of my spontaneity that i enjoy so much- I actually have a set time to wake up for every day. So long waking up early MWF and late TTH, hello regular sleep cycles... I'm excited, but at the same time, I don't want to lose what has become such a part of me.

I've come back to reading a lot. A lot more than a lot, really, and just anything I can. I've bee reading bits of the Qur'an, the Book of Mormon and Doctrine and Covenenants in Arabic, anything I can find in Arabic, and I'm reading Hugh Nibley's biography by his son, On the Road by Jack Kerouac, Fight Club, and you get the idea, I'm readin a lot all the time. Right now, I've got Approaching Zion open and in between writing this, texting Iggy and reading that, I'm getting confused. But, I'm enjoying it because it doesn't feel like downtime. I like downtime when I plan it, when i'm craving it, but otherwise, I've got such a passion for doing things- anything- that downtime feels like waste. I'm scared that the downtime could be used to be making myself better and I want to be the absolute best.

I know why I've been changing too, it all boils down to one thing, maybe one person, that I can't describe adequately on this blog. I've changed from what I was a year ago, heck... I've been in this change since college started but it's really just come on strong this past week-ish.

Thanks for reading.


*Edit* This is my 50th post. Also, it's the longest, and best, blog I've kept. *Edit*